 Healthy self-esteem means considering as highly of yourself as you think of your friends. People are so used to negative feedback that they are more aware of their weaknesses than their strengths. We often think that we will “fail”, that’s why it is often difficult to enjoy success, no matter how small that success might be.
High self-esteem helps a person to face life problems and bounce back from difficulties. That’s why high self-esteem is crucial during the turbulence teenage years.
Way of Self-Esteem Building
The process of self-esteem building is simple, but putting it to work is difficult. It is like a circular process. When teens experience success, they grow in self-confidence. While growing of self-esteem they feel able to face new problems. As they succeed in confronting each problem, they develop the ability for coping with whatever life throws their way. That feeling results in further growth of self-confidence, self-reliance and self-esteem.
In order to keep up healthy self-esteem teens should:
- Celebrate their attainment and strengths.
- Forgive themselves for their mistakes.
- Don’t get caught in an endless loop of their weaknesses. They shouldn’t forget that every human has them.
- Change the way they talk to themselves. They should stop putting themselves down.
- Make sure that they do not judging themselves against unreasonable standards.
- Realize that beating themselves for their weaknesses is self defeating. It is better to use that energy for positive thoughts about them.
Teens with high self-esteem are:
- able to accept and learn from their own mistakes;
- confident without being boastful;
- not overly defensive when questioned;
- not devastated by criticism;
- not easily defeated by obstacles;
- open and positive in communicating their needs;
- not overly worried about failing or looking absurd;
- not aggressively driven to prove themselves;
- not harshly or destructively critical of themselves;
- able to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously;
In order to improve self-esteem teens should repeat following statements to themselves:
- There are lots of things I can do successfully.
- I don’t need to strive for perfection to approve of myself.
- I am alone responsible for the decisions I make.
- I am a unique.
- My persistence will help me to succeed.
- Every mistake I make can be an opportunity to learn. I shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes, this is how I learn to improve.
- I deserve support and will ask for help when I need it.
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