 Something that goes naturally after any person’s action, inaction or poor decision called a consequence. It is not the same as a punishment, because punishment is retribution. Actually, punishment is “getting back” at someone, to hurt them back for a hurt they did.
When gives a child a consequence, it is significant to try to make it run naturally from the child’s selection or action. For instance, if your child sleeps late and doesn’t want to get up for school, the natural consequence is to go to bed earlier that night to get more sleep. In this situation taking his phone for a week wouldn’t be the natural consequence. You should tell him that he has to go to bed early for the next three nights, and then if he will prove he can get up for school, you can agree to the later bedtime again.
It is also very significant to make the consequence task-oriented, and not time-oriented. When you tell your child he’s grounded for a week or can’t use his cell phone for two weeks this is a time-oriented consequence. In actual fact, it is unproductive because all it does is teaching kids how to “do time.” It does not teach them how to change their behavior.
You have to understand that making your teen stay in for three weekends won’t teach her/him to observe curfew. It just exposes you and your family to grief and your child learns nothing.
A task-oriented consequence is connected to the wrongdoing and determines a learning objective. For example, if your daughter stayed out past curfew last week, next weekend, she has to come in an hour earlier to show you that she can do it. When she proves you she can do it, you can go back to her normal curfew time. Making her stay in for three weekends won’t teach her to observe curfew. It just puts you and your family through the grief and the child learns nothing.
Unconditionally the best consequences are those from which the child learns something. For instance, if your son is rude to his sister, a good consequence is to tell him he can’t use the phone until he writes her some kind of letter of apology. In this writing he has to tell her what he’ll do in a different way the next time he’s in conflict with her. Such writing the note of apology is a learning experience for him that allows him to get his phone back. In such a way, he is not just “doing time.” He is performing an act that teaches him something.
| 
